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| Neo-feminism
Dr Tiff wrote about feminism. Feminism is dear to me. I believe a true feminist is born, not raised. I watch my daughter. At the tender age of three all the signs of a hard core feminist is there. The story that amuses her most is the one about the man that comes home and says to his wife
"It is not fair! I work far harder than you! I get up at dawn and then I go to the fields..." He is married to a very smart wife, who promptly suggested to swop place for a day or two. The next day she got up at dawn, to go to the fields, while her dear hard working husband stays home to look after the baby and tend to the little bits of housework his wife does every day. It does not take long for him to run into trouble trying to do all the things his wife usually does and by the time she returns from home, it is total mayhem. She rescues him from hanging from the roof and asks "Is dinner ready yet". Of course this man is more reasonable than most (it is a fairy tale after all) and he says "You were right, your work is too hard for me, tomorrow I will go back to the fields and you can stay home"
Yes I believe a true feminist is born, and I believe I am one. I remember annoying my father with my feminist thoughts during my teenage years and fierce debates during my youth of men and women being equal. I have not changed my believe on any of that, but my perspective has changed.
Feminism was the radical move to right several wrongs against women. Feminism achieved a lot for women, but sadly it also created some new challenges for women.
Today too many women find themselves in a position where they are now responsible for it all ... their family's are dependant on their full-time salaries, but at the same time they are still the primary caretaker of the children and responsible for the bulk of the cleaning and housekeeping. And yes, yes, I know there are some really good men out there, taking on their fair share of responsibility, but the harsh reality is that there are more men not doing that, and more women struggling to have it all... a career, a family and a happy tidy home.
The other, more serious failure of feminism in my view, is that feminism went out to give women career choices and although they succeeded in doing that, they robbed women from making family choices. Suddenly women found themselves to only be worthy if they had impressive careers, big fat pay cheques, and flash cars and designers clothes to show. Suddenly women that chose to stay home and focus on their families, were sad, timid, boring and unfulfilled.
I believe families are suffering because of women's lack of choices. Children are suffering. The children of the feminist movements are only entering the grown-up year now. But the proof is around us in our youth. Every time there is another youth tragedy, we blame it on violent television or video games, but no one would ever dare to wonder if we are giving them all they deserve these days.
True feminism lies in having a choice. Whether that choice is to enter a career or stay home and raise a family. Both choices are equally valid, equally important, equally ambitious, equally demanding, and quite frankly should be equal in financial worth.
It is time for a new radical swing. A swing to where family is priority. A swing to where material possessions are not the priority. A swing to where women are recognised as able worthwhile participants, a swing to where women are supported at home to be able to actively pursue their roles as mothers, while they make a contribution to the economic sector. For goodness sake, we are living in modern times, modern technology, allow us to have effective careers at home during the time that works for us. We don't need to sit in a tiny little office, with some boss looking over our shoulders to be able to complete a task.
We need support for women to actively engage in their roles as mothers while pursuing a career or an interest at the same time. It is not impossible. We need job sharing possibilities, flexible hours, creative communication strategies, and open workplaces. We need financial support for women who decide to focus on their families. We need respect for our choices. | | |
| The war of the introverts and extroverts
I am an introvert. Always been. Always will be. Some people might think otherwise, because I do many extroverted kind of things. I am the president of our Playcentre. I serve on the Playcentre Association Board. I arranged parenting workshops in your area.
You see, but all of those things have nothing to do with extrovertism or introvertism.
In my understanding the essence so extrovertism and introvertism, lies in the process of recharging. How do you recharge? What do you do to raise your energy levels?
I believe extroverts recharge through other people. When they feel low, they seek out people and return recharged.
I, on the other hand withdraw into solitude. As much as I can. I take my phone off the hook or turn the internet on, and avoid other people as much as I can. Sometimes I only need a few times, sometimes I need more.
Without my times of withdrawal into solitude, I could never survive. My husband says I burn out about three times a year. Not because I'm living such a high powered existence, but simply because I've taken on jobs - like the president of playcentre, that requires constant contact with people. A very draining position for an introvert.
Another major difference between extroverts and introverts is that extroverts enjoy having the attention focused on them, while introverts really dislike being the centre of attention. Often they can bear it, but they do not thrive on it.
A few nights ago I went to our local school's Prize Giving evening. Not the kind of thing I do for fun, but I supported my niece and nephew. The difference between introverts and extroverts were so obvious. The extroverts jumped up when the names were called, big confident smiles, skipped around the hall, noticing people on their way, waved, received their certificates, and took one more good look around before they finally took their place again. The introverts on the other hand, got up, tried to make their way around as quick and invisible as possible, thinking "oh gawd, why do they make me do this", quick nervous smirk and acceptance of the certificate, scrammed back and plonked down.
There was one boy. Ten years old. Apparently quite brilliant. He won the Science Award. He came second or third in some kind of South Pacific science exam not long ago. I understand that he is a bit of a handful. Deleting other children's computer files, breaking their creations and just being mean all around. The parents are outraged, that the school don't do anything to him.
I feel outraged too. Not that the school didn't do anything to him, but rather that they don't do anything for him. I watched him doing his victory walk around the hall to receive his award. He detested every minute of it. The quick hurried walk, with his head turned away from the audience and eyes on the ground. Why do schools insist to only be a safe place for extroverts? | | |
| Cosmic Connections
Number and dates fascinate me. Have you ever noticed that there are a relationship between some numbers in your life and some seem to come afore, more than others?
My husband came to visit South Africa before we met - his visa expired on 28/3 - my birthday - he overstayed and we met 3 months later.
We were married on 23/03 - my parents were married on 23/12 and my husband's parents on 23/02.
My daughter was born on 15/5/2000 at 15:15 in the afternoon.
My son weighed 3.48 kgs at birth, my daughter weighed 4.38 kgs.
Now only if these magical numbers can let me win the lotto... | | |
| When the wings fall away
I am the mother of two little angels. They're really good kids. I often secretly marvel at just how lucky I am to have two such well-behaved kids.
This afternoon my two little angels were playing way down the paddock with the neighbour's kids. Off course the neighbour's kids aren't as good as mine. Not that they're bad either. They just do... well kid's stuff.
Anyway my two little angels were having a war with the neighbours. I was watching it from a distance, smiling, remembering similar games with nostalgia, when I noticed my dear sweet boy pull his pants down and back up again! And then his sister did the same thing!
In my calmest serenest voice I bellowed them over to ask them what on earth they were doing. I just knew those neighbour's kids were not a good influence on my little cherubs.
First they denied it all, but before I could blame it on my failing eyesight, my sweet little girl came clean. She has not yet learned the value of deception. Yes they did pull their pants down. No, the neighbours kids didn't make them.
Then why on earth would two sweet children do such a thing?
Sounds like they were losing the war and my dear sweet boy thought a rudie will teach them a lesson! (He did keep his underpants on though.)
I guess it is time to leave my cosy spot of the good mother with the good kids, because these two lost their halos somewhere along the line and I see heaps of trouble in my future. | | |
| Dinner guests
If you can invite four guests for dinner, who would it be?
My guests of honour used to include John Holt, Kate Shepard, Barbara Kingsolver and Jessica Adams, but this morning I listened to a interview with Witi Ihimaera and I am intrigued. Sorry Ms Kingsolver you have to give up your plate for Mr Ihimaera.
What a wonderful and interesting man. And handsome too. For those of you in the dark with regard to Witi Ihimaera, he's the author of Whale Rider, which I have neither seen nor read. Yes, I know... shame on me! But that is the plight of stay at home rural homeschooling mother.
But Whale Rider is now on my list to read for the next six weeks and anything else I can find. | | |
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